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文书点评:公开演讲(Public Speaking)

来源:美国留学网 2008-02-27   美国留学   免费评估   答疑
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My mouth refused to open. My legs quaked beneath me. My eyes darted around the audience. A sudden stillness enveloped me. Everything seemed peaceful, except for the uneven pounding in my chest, which pulsated in my ears. The pressure was unbearable. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply and tried to calm my escalating fear. Still, my lips would not budge. My face felt red-hot even as cold sweat soaked every inch of my body. I couldn't recite a single word of my three-word speech. I felt humiliated. My debut in the sixth-grade class production was a failure.

Growing up, I had endured a myriad of humiliations, but this one was different. This one happened in front of the entire school. I, like many other children, craved the spotlight yet also feared it. As I stood there, frozen into a block of ice, I felt defeated. Since speaking parts were mandatory, I had already received the most minuscule role in the entire play. My role was quite simple: fifteen seconds of silly jumping on stage and projection of three words out into the audience. Yet no matter how many times I practiced my simple line, I bombed when my moment of fame arrived. Each time, I turned into a lanky lighthouse, my red face beaming for all to see. My mouth refused to open and send forth those three words. My failure cost me dearly. My peers teased me without mercy for weeks. My shame left a powerful imprint in my mind.

When I entered ninth grade, I was determined to break out of my shell and challenge my fear of public speaking. With encouragement from friends and family, I enrolled in a debate class. On the first day of the course, I didn't know what to expect, but I quickly apprehended that class participation was mandatory. Throughout the first semester, my teacher slowly and patiently chipped away at my fear of speaking. I gradually discovered myself feeling comfortable speaking in front of the class. Soon I felt comfortable in front of any audience. I worked hard to overcome my fear, and when I did, my confidence soared. I also discovered that my fear had cloaked my genuine passion for debating and public speaking. I have developed my new passion through a variety of extracurricular activities throughout my time in high school.

Now, I face new challenges. I am fearful of the sea-change before me. While I have to come to terms with the idea of losing close friends and moving away from my hometown, I feel a twinge of apprehension. I know life in college will challenge me and cause me to reevaluate my beliefs and ambitions. Will I sink or will I swim?

Whenever I reflect on this question, I remember standing on my elementary school's stage, choking back hot tears, and trying to say my lines. Then, I picture myself now, speaking freely in front of peers and adults, delivering my opinions with gusto, free from fear and determined to have my voice heard.

I'm going to swim, no doubt about it.


点评:

这篇PS通过生动的描述自己小学时候惧怕公共演讲,然后在中学通过加入辩论班,一步步克服心理对于演讲的恐惧,从而得到自信心的增强。之后就是无论遇到什么问题都可以从容解决了。

成功之处就是在于运用生活中的真实经历,描写自己的心理和思想得到提升。从小事之中得到启发是很有效的PS写作技巧之一。

缺点就在于专业性不是很强,运用情景模式的写作方法一定要有特色去祢补专业性的不足。

译文:

公开演讲

我紧闭着嘴唇,双腿在颤抖,环视周围的观众,突然发现自己被一片寂静包围着。除了自己的心跳声,周围的一切都是那么平静。压力使得我无法忍受。我闭上眼睛,试着用深呼吸来平息越来越强的恐惧感。然而,我还是张不开嘴唇。即使冷汗流遍全身我还是满脸通红。我背不出我那简短演讲中的一个词。我感到无比羞愧。我在六年级的初次登场就以失败告终。

在成长的过程中我经历了无数次羞辱,但这次却是不同的经历。因为这次是站在全校师生面前。像其他许多小孩一样,我渴望站在聚光灯下却又怀着恐惧之情。当我站在那,紧张得像被冰冻了一样的时候,我有一种被击败的感觉。因为演讲是强制性的,我曾经演过在整个演出当中最为卑微的角色。我的角色很简单:在舞台上傻傻地跳15秒钟,然后对着观众说3个字。但是不管我在准备的时候练过多少次这个简单角色,我还是在真正的演出中失败了。每一次当我面向聚光灯的时候,所有人都看得见我通红的脸。我怎么也张不开嘴去说那三个字。我失败的代价是昂贵的。我的同伴们毫不留情地讥笑了我好几个星期。羞耻在我心中留下了深刻的印记。

当我进入九年级的时候,我决定突破自我的束缚去挑战我对于公共演讲的恐惧。在朋友和家人的鼓励之下,我加入了辩论班。在第一天的课堂上,我不知道该怎么做。但是我很快就领悟到参与到课堂中去是必须的。在第一个学期里,我的老师慢慢的并且很有耐心的消除我对于演讲的恐惧。我逐渐发现自己适应了在全班人面前讲话。然后我发现自己敢于在任何听众面前讲话了。我努力消除心中的恐惧,当我做到这样的时候,我的自信心就增加了不少。我还发现我之前的恐惧遮掩了我天生对于辩论和公共演讲的激情。在高中生涯里我通过多种课余活动培养了一种新的激情。

现在我面对着新的挑战。我很惧怕突然间的变化。当我不得不面对离开家乡失去密友的时候,我心如乱麻。我知道大学生活会很有挑战性并会让我重新评价自己的信念和雄心。我会沉没还是畅游呢?

每当我想到这个问题,我都会记起小学的时候站在舞台上,抑制着热汗并试图说出我的台词。然后我会想到现在的自己可以在同学和大人面前自然地演讲,传达我的想法,毫无恐惧地让每一个听众听到自己的声音。

毫无疑问地,我将会畅游。

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