课外活动，研究成就，工作经历，志愿活动，重要经历。不要说I want to be a doctor because I enjoy working with people and I like biology这种太宽泛的话。

Most importantly, be sure that your personal statement is well written. Be clear and concise. Think of a medical school admissions person reading 30 such essays in one sitting, and you will realize how important it is that your statement be easy to read. Don't make that person struggle through sentences that are paragraphs long and difficult to follow. Have someone else read your essay. Ask your roommate, a friend, and/or your advisor if they think it sounds like you. The staff at the UAC can also look over your essay. We will not tell you what to say, nor will we correct your grammar, but we will tell you how we think medical schools might react.

写作方面，要清楚简洁。想想吧，一个人每天读30个这样的申请后他会有什么感觉。因此，不要把句子搞得太长或者复杂。

Writing Your Essay/Personal Statement for College 详细介绍ps。

by Dr. Marilyn Winkleby, Founder, SMYSP

What is the purpose of your college essay? （目的）

Many colleges will request that you write an essay or personal statement to accompany your application. Your essay is very important because it allows you an opportunity to be yourself and to let the colleges know who you are as an individual. Think about your life experiences and what has shaped you into the person you are today. Tell about aspects of your background and personal attributes that may not be apparent from your academic record. Since academic records and test scores of applicants are often very similar, your essay allows the college to gain insight into your unique achievements, character, and background. This allows the college to evaluate what they can offer you along with what you can contribute to their academic environment.

一张纸浓缩人生精华

Colleges may ask for a general essay or give you specific questions to answer. The suggestions below apply to either.

Who reads your essay?

Each college has a team of trained readers, several of whom will usually read and score your essay independently. Readers are often professional staff from the college, but may also include faculty members, high school teachers, and counselors. These readers are not testing you on writing ability or English skills. They simply want to learn more about you on a personal level. However, a well-written essay will impress the reader so invest time in editing, and checking your grammar and spelling.

What makes a good essay?

A good essay will make you distinct from the many other applicants. Readers look for a cohesive essay that reflects your life experiences, intellectual curiosity and achievements, personal characteristics (perseverance, motivation, leadership), service to others, and commitment to higher education. You may describe hardships you overcame, events that had a significant impact on your life, people who inspired you, or your knowledge of certain cultural or ethnic groups. Sometimes a very common experience is influential and memorable. For example, one student wrote about his intelligent parents who were trapped in unfulfilling jobs due to their lack of formal education. The student was inspired by his parents’ experience, excelled in school, and thus became the first in his family to apply to college.

要言之有物，写出你的兴趣，经历，个人性格

Your essay should show the depth of your interests and accomplishments, and quality of your character. No matter what experiences you choose to write about, you should elaborate on the insights that you gained from the experiences and on the ways the experiences influenced your life. Readers want to learn how experiences changed your attitudes or beliefs, influenced your academics or extracurricular activities, or clarified your educational goals.

Below are some general suggestions as well as specific suggestions that may help you write an essay that makes you stand out as a great applicant.

General suggestions: （一般建议）

1. Check the rules.

Read the instructions for the essay in the college application packet. One of the most common mistakes is to miss requirements about the length or formatting of the essay. Remember, almost all colleges want you to send your essay with your completed application form.

2. Start early and revise often.

Start your essay early, at least one or two months before it is due. If possible, use a computer or word processor so revisions are easy. Your first draft will be revised many times so don't feel constrained. Instead, it should be a starting point for you to begin telling your story.

You may want to begin by writing down many thoughts and then selecting the most important. Or, you may prefer to make an outline and expand it according to the length requirements. Be prepared to write at least 10 drafts and to have several people read drafts at different stages in your writing. These people should know you on a personal level.

Once you have read and revised your essay several times, put it away for a week or so. (If you started early, you shouldn't be too close to the deadline yet!) After the rest period, think again about what you want the admissions committee to know about you. Write this down, then take out your essay and read it again. Does it convey what you want to say? If not, you may have to start all over again or cut out large parts of your first draft. This is okay--writing requires flexibility, and sometimes you will have to eliminate things that you liked because they don't relate to your overall message.

3. Be clear and focused.

Your essay should be focused and tell a cohesive story. With each revision, your essay should be more focused, have smooth transitional statements, and present a more cohesive story. Every main thought should be followed by a logical transition that connects to the next main thought. The reader of your application (who may be sleepy or in a hurry) will not spend time trying to figure out your main points if your essay is unclear.

4. Be distinctive.

Write an essay that distinguishes you from other applicants. Avoid writing sentences that another applicant could write. Any applicant could write, "I have always wanted to go to college to further my education," or "I have always wanted to be a doctor." The following sentence is more personal and gives insight into an applicant’s background: "I first became interested in becoming a doctor when Daniel, my little brother, was hospitalized for an infected foot after he got caught on a barbed wire fence while being chased by a bull."

5. Be specific.

This will help the reader remember you. Suppose you are writing about a patient you met during your volunteer work at an inner city hospital. Rather than writing, "One patient made a lasting impression on me," provide more details and write, "A young Latina woman who had been burned in a car accident made a lasting impression on me and influenced my future career goals." Or, if you are writing about a teacher who was instrumental in encouraging you to apply to college, you might write, "Mr. Wright, my high school biology teacher, was the first to suggest that I might attend college."

Avoid details that are superficial to your point, such as, "Mr. Wright, my high school biology teacher, noticed my intense interest in science during my sophomore year and took me aside one afternoon to talk with me. He was the first to suggest that I might attend college and encouraged me to take classes in biology, chemistry, physics, and other sciences."

6. Include powerful experiences.

Include personal experiences that will leave the reader with strong images, especially ones that have influenced your education or career goals. The experience can be told in several sentences, but it should paint a lasting image. These experiences may be related to a hardship you have overcome or an experience that influenced your life. Students have written about how living in foster care, caring for a parent with a serious illness, or living in a refugee camp contributed to their initiative and changed their attitudes about an issue or group of people. Other students have written about how seeing a young teenager die from AIDS or an elderly patient learn to speak after having a stroke inspired their commitment to pursuing a health career.

7. Be enthusiastic, but reasonable.

Show your enthusiasm, passion or commitment about causes, but be reasoned and logical in your discussions. You may feel strongly about a human rights or health care issue, such as the need for guaranteed health care for all Americans. Discuss your personal views, provide supporting evidence, and propose how you would address the problem, but do so without "preaching."

8. Be yourself!

Most importantly, be honest and be yourself! Admissions officers want to accept students who will be successful at their school and contribute to its environment. They want to recruit students from backgrounds who will diversify their student body and if you sound like their type of candidate, then it will be an advantageous situation for both you and the college!

9. Review your final version carefully.

When you have completed the final version of your essay, read it carefully and ask:

Is there a strong introduction that sets the stage for a memorable essay?

Is the topic sentence of each paragraph clear and do the rest of the sentences

in the paragraph support the topic sentence?

Are all of my thoughts connected in a logical fashion?

Is the essay focused and cohesive?

Does my unique voice come through; does the essay sound like me?

Is the grammar correct?

Have I done a final "spell check" on a computer?

Have I re-read the final version carefully to be sure the "spell check" didn’t

substitute any incorrect words?

As a final check, give your essay to an English teacher or someone with a background in grammar and spelling to make sure that you haven't made any avoidable mistakes.

And, be sure to keep a printed copy of your final version.

Specific suggestions about your essay: ps到底写什么，看看别人的就知道了。

Readers look for certain areas of content that reflect your life experiences, intellect, work and volunteer experiences, extracurricular activities, and personal characteristics. The following offers you more tips on content areas, some of which you may write about.