[Prompt: We all experience “defining moments, ” significant events that can have a major impact on our lives. Briefly describe such an event and how it affected you.]
Failed Internet startup
The president of our company announced the final vote: “five to three in favor of ending the business.” Instantly, the tumultuous adventure of Versaworks abruptly ended. This web-based company we had founded aimed to promote an online reservation system for restaurants. Planning to run the company part-time while we sought initial business contracts to generate some base revenue, we had hoped to attract enough investors to provide funding for the team to work full-time. In the end, however, our inability to solidify relationships with restaurants led to the vote on closing the business, and the vote’s outcome was what everyone had expected.
However, closing this chapter in my life allowed me to open a new one, as it caused me to re-evaluate my career goals. I asked myself, why was I so motivated to start a business in the first place? Why did I find its possibilities more rewarding than my successful engineering career? I came to realize that while engineering allowed me to apply my technical skills to developing advanced technology, I believed I had the opportunity and privilege to enhance people’s lives more effectively by guiding a collaborative effort, a whole company directed towards providing for the needs of its customers.
In a word, today I understand that my long-term career goal is to maximize my contribution to society. Through my Versaworks experience, I gained a new perspective on what it takes to start a business. The closing of that project compelled me to refocus on my goals and evaluate what I need in order to achieve them. Today, I know that the pursuit of an MBA education is the next step I must take.
点评：
这篇文章的特别之处在于用反面的例子来论证自己攻读MBA的目的。文章要求是写一个可以改变人一生的‘重要性时刻’，作者采用了一个发生在自己身上的创业失败的例子。
很多的时候，当我们写这类的文章时，都会尽量的采用一些积极的，或者能正面反映出自己优势的素材。但是在这篇文章里，作者选用了一个失败的例子，突出了自己的不足，无论是在思想上，还是计划上。在文章的字里行间，可以看出作者是一个极有社会责任感的人，希望通过充分利用自己的技术，尽可能的提高人类的生活水准。
尽管作者创业的出发点是好的，但是毕竟缺乏市场调查，市场知识，和市场实际操作经验。 导致创业最终失败，然而作者并没有因此一蹶不振。作者认为这次的失败只会让他更清楚地意识到自己真正的创业目的。通过深刻的自我反省和重新评估创业真正需要的的东西，作者发现，自己需要做的下一步，也是最重要的一步就是攻读MBA学位。通过MBA的学习，能使作者弥补自己对市场知识不足的缺陷。
这篇文章的篇幅尽管不算长，但是段落分明，也能够清晰的表达出促使作者萌发攻读MBA需求的真实动机。总体来说，还是蛮有说服力的。
译文：
失败的IT创业
[命题要求：我们都经历过‘决定性的时刻’- 能够对我们的生活产生重大的影响重大新闻事件，简单描述这类的事件及它是如何影响你。]
当我们公司的总裁宣布最终投票结果时：“五比三赞成结束公司。”瞬间，Versaworks的轰轰烈烈的冒险突然就结束了。这是一个我们当初为了促进网上订餐系统而成立的网络公司。起初只是计划以兼职的形式来运行这间公司，等初步开发了一些客源及积累了部分资金，我们期望去吸引足够的投资者来提供资金供这个团队全职工作。然而最终，我们无法维持和巩固与餐馆之间的关系导致投票结束营业，而投票的结果正如大家所预期的。
但是，这一章的结束允许我在我的人生中打开另一个新章，因为它使我重新评价我的职业目标。 我问自己，为什么我热衷于把创业放在首位？为什么我会觉得它会比我成功的工程事业有更高的回报率？我后来意识到，工程学让我可以运用我的技术技能去开发先进技术，我曾相信我有机会和优势去通过组织一个共同的努力从而更有效的提高人民的生活水平，而整个公司也都是朝着为提供客户的需要的方向前进的。
总而言之，现在我知道了我的长期职业目标是使我对社会的贡献达到最大限度的。通过我在Versaworks的经验，我对如何创业有了新的认识。这个项目的结束迫使我把注意力重新集中在我的目标和评估为实现这些目标的需求。今天，我知道攻读MBA学位是我必须走下一步。
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