命题Essay——描述一次失败经历。你对自己的哪一方面感到失望？专业的美国留学咨询服务结构美国留学网留学美国网留学美国文书写作美国留学留学网美国留学咨询美国留学签证高中生留学签证申请美国大学院校网址美国奖学金

命题Essay——描述一次失败经历。你对自己的哪一方面感到失望？

[Prompt: Discuss a failure. In what way were you disappointed in yourself? What did you learn from the experience?]

Communication Breakdown

I was still a financial analyst when I became a member of Houlihan Valuation Advisors’ Electronics and Communications Knowledge Group. The group consisted of analysts from the San Francisco and Los Angeles offices and was formed to write quarterly reports discussing valuation topics relevant to these dynamic industries. At first I was excited to be involved, but when we finally submitted our report, I was completely embarrassed. It was late, poorly written, and troubled by large gaps in data.

The group had not worked together. Poor communication exacerbated an already problematic arrangement with the differences between office cultures. We never clearly delineated our individual roles, resulting in redundant work on the one hand and neglected research on the other. Our failure to develop style guidelines also entailed a wildly disjointed manner of writing. Although this was a team effort, I felt particularly disappointed in myself. I had simply assumed that the team would take care of itself.

Determined not to repeat this failure, I contacted the other members individually to discuss the problem. I was able to establish a consensus in the recognition that our group needed structure, and that we should meet via teleconference to review the matter. At the meeting, we decided to split the industries into sub-sectors with a single member responsible for each (I took wire line telecommunications). We also decided to have a facilitator in charge of the overall project, with a different member playing the role for each report. Since it was my idea, I was chosen to be the first facilitator. In this position, I acted as a communications hub, disseminating information and coordinating conferences.

Over the following quarter, we communicated much more frequently, and while the office cultures remained different, we came to understand each other. Our next report showed vast improvement: the information was current and comprehensive, and the report was well written and delivered on time. After that success, the group continued to improve as other members began to take the lead. One member enhanced our research by proposing and managing a study on the proper metrics to use in valuing Internet retail companies. Another member taught us how to incorporate real option analysis in our reports. Each one tried to increase the overall efficiency of the group.

When I was promoted to associate, my responsibilities changed, and I could no longer remain a member of the group. But what started as a disappointment became one of the best experiences in my career. I gained knowledge about a dynamic industry and developed real friendships with the other members. I learned to use new analysis techniques, and I discovered that to work effectively in a team requires not only communication and collaboration, but also a tactful form of leadership. Perhaps most importantly, I gained experience in stepping up to fill that role and am now better prepared to face similar situations that may arise.

太傻点评：

文章为5部分，围绕“问题”的中心思想按“产生问题”—“发现问题”—“分析问题”—“解决问题”—“反思问题”的逻辑关系展开。整理来说，表达清晰结构明了，是一篇比较好的文书。

从结构上说，五个部分内容如下：

１、报告完成的很失败

２、报告失败的原因是团队的合作有问题

３、为了解决问题，通过团队间的沟通分析问题

４、按照沟通的结果实际解决问题，并产生了很好的效果

５、通过这个事情的转变，我学到了哪些技巧。

从内容上说，作者采取的是层层深入的方式。先是作为一个新人到了一个团队，然后在项目中发现不足。这点显示了对于看待问题的独特视角。然后主动通过团队间的协调，顺利的解决的问题。从而显示出团队领导的实际能力。顺带的效果是，从失败中学到了很多。

整篇文章一气呵成，通过具体的事例来证明自己的商业潜力。文风严谨，符合商科申请的风格。但是文章也是有一定的缺点，就是所举事例并不是很详细，有点笼统，没把项目改进中出现的过程具体描述一下。但是总体来说还是一篇比较好的文章。

译文：

交流障碍

提示：描述一次失败经历。你对自己的哪一方面感到失望？你从这次经历中学到了什么？

当我成为Houlihan美国电子工业的评估顾问和知识交流团的成员的时候，我还是一个财政分析师。团队由来自San Francisco和Los Angeles的专家组成，他们被组织起来，按季度写一些讨论一些与机动工业相关的投资话题。开始我为自己能被收录感到激动，但是后来我们的报告交上去之后，我简直尴尬透了。那份报告交的很晚，写的很蹩脚，而且当中提供的数据也和实际的有很大的差距。

事实上团队根本没有一起工作。贫乏的合作造成的办公差异使本来就成问题的安排变得更加的不合理。我们从来就没有清楚地知道各自的角色，这就导致一方面积压一堆的工作，另一方面又忽略了研究。我们在发展有效的指导方针方面的失败使得报告的写作缺乏条理。虽然这是团队一起工作的结果，但是我对自己也很失望，也天真的想要是屯对不用各个个体操心就好了。

为了避免再犯同样的错误，我分别找了团队的其他成员来讨论这个问题。我们达成一致：团队需要条理性，而且我们需要通过电话会议来分析问题。会议上我们决定将工业分为几个部，分别找一个单独的成员负责该部门。我们还决定选出一个发起人来负责全部项目的管理，而最终的报告就有组内的其他成员负责完成。由于这个建议是我提出来的，于是我被选为了第一任的发起人。作为发起人，我担任着交流枢纽、船舶消息、协调讨论的角色。

接下来的一个季度，我们进行了很顺利的交流，虽然大家的办公法还不是完全相同，但是大家都开始理解对方了。我们的下一个报告也有了明显的进步，当中的信息更准确及时和广泛了。报告写得很精彩而且被很及时地发了出去。有了这一次的成功，团队在接下来其他成员的领导下不断的进步。一个成员提议大家学习计量单位，以便更好地完成对国际零售公司的评估报告。另外的一个成员还教我们怎样在报告中结合实物的描写。每个人都在为提高团队的效率而努力。

后来我被提升为准会员，我的职责变了，不再是团队的一员。但是这次的经历已经由开始时的失望变成了后来我的职业生涯中的一段宝贵经历。我学到了机械工业的知识、赢得了团队成员的友谊、也学会了应用新的分析方法，同时我也发现一个团队想要有效的运行，需要的不仅仅是交流、合作，同时也需要一个有效的领导机构。最重要的是，那段经历让我在做好更充分的准备，更好的面对今后将会出现的各种类似的问题。