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文书点评:委内瑞拉丛林里的小丑实习医生

来源:美国留学网 2008-02-27   美国留学   免费评估   答疑
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From the moment I arrived in Guanare, Venezuela, I experienced the desperation and the discomfort that burdens the people there every day. Long abandoned by a broken-down bus, my team and I were forced to climb a mountain under the relentless sun. Weighed down by a 30-pound backpack containing medical supplies, I fixated on the rest of the day and on reaching the top of the mountain by nightfall. Thinking ahead to the next day was a luxury I could not afford.

The city of Guanare rested at the bottom of the mountain. I had been struck by its dirty, squalid streets and houses topped with corrugated tin roofs. Stray dogs roamed the streets, small children chased passing cars, and mosquitoes and gnats lazily lingered in the sweltering heat. At the top of the mountain, however, existed poverty of another level. There sat a remote community of coffee-bean growers who receive no medical attention and have no means of communication with Guanare, except for a long, steep walk down the mountain. After weeks of correspondence, planning, and preparation with one another from across the globe, my team of 14 had arrived there to make a small imprint on the struggling community and, we hoped, to offer some kind of relief.

On the morning of our first clinic, I was awed by the contrasting images of despair and hope. We were surprised to discover that villagers from miles away had heard about the free clinic and had begun lining up in the first hours of sunlight. Dirty, thin children with bellies distended from parasite infection stood in line alongside elderly adults with open sores in their swollen legs. Spread before them was a team of 14 strangers buoyed by energy and optimism. With donated supplies and medicine that we had garnered from various clinics and hospitals in America, we prepared to perform triage, measure blood pressure, and administer the proper medicines.

That day, I was just as affected by the team doctor, Robert, as I was by the anguish on the patients’ faces. He was a beacon of devotion and sacrifice, and while everyone rotated in and out of shifts for their duties, Robert was the anchor, treating the seemingly endless stream of ill patients with the same enthusiasm he had when the day had dawned. I was just a sophomore in college at the time, and I was wholly inexperienced in a medical capacity. But I sensed all of that changing as I experienced both the hopelessness and the hopefulness that comes with this noble profession. I realized that in my future career as a doctor I wanted to emanate Robert’s grace and dedication, and that in the meantime I would do anything I could to work to alleviate the pain of those who are suffering physically.

Since I could not provide much medical assistance at the clinic, I sought a way to involve myself in the healing that was taking place and to raise the spirits of the downtrodden patients. I donned a baggy shirt, goofy pants, a green wig, and makeup, transforming myself from a medic into a clown. Squeals of delight pealed through the throng of children and adults as I burst out of the door. I began singing and dancing to the songs playing on the Spanish radio station as others smiled and clapped. The tired, sick children giggled, and the stricken elderly patients laughed while I tripped and ran into them in my excitement. Eventually, the children that were well enough to participate joined me in my exploits.

Just like the clinics, the playful enjoyment was a welcome reprieve to the villagers but temporary nonetheless. While our team did a lot of good, eventually we had to leave, and it was painfully clear to me that the patients’ prescriptions would soon run out, and that others would become ill. Soon they would go back to their painful existences without proper medical attention. Another team would eventually come to the mountain and set up another clinic, but the problems would still persist. Until a time when I can participate in the global community, teaching preventative measures to avoid diseases such as parasite infection or malaria, I continue to do what I can for this tiny village. I collect whatever clothes, shoes, and toys I can and send them to the town center.

For as long as I can remember, my inquisitive, nurturing nature led me to entertain the thought of being a doctor. However, after my time in Venezuela, I was resolute. The idea of attending to a neglected population intrigues and excites me. In Venezuela, serving as a vessel of hope and seeing the joy that followed gave me a great sense of satisfaction. I will forever relish the memories of the trust that those patients had in the doctor as he diagnosed their ailments. I value what I learned from Robert himself -- that being a doctor requires sacrifice and determination, but that with it comes the fulfillment of a long day’s work. And I will never forget the innocently hopeful children who danced with me in my green clown wig, for they remind me that at the core of healing is the exuberance that comes with optimism.

点评:

这是一篇医学类PS,讲述了作者在参加医疗队到委内瑞拉的贫困地区进行人道医援的经历。 文章的前后衔接紧密,内容感人至深,是一篇好的PS。

通过翻译,可以看出文章的可以分为两个部分:

第一部分:讲述的是作者的一段令人难忘的医疗援助的经历。通过了这次的经历,作者不但学到了是医疗的技术,更多的是一个成为医者的人道主义的精神。

第二部分:作者通过思考,总结出:“作为一个医生随时要求牺牲和决心”这样的一个作为一个医者的准则。并且知道心理的健康同身体健康一样重要。

总结:

这篇短文以自己过去的实习经历作为切入点,结合自己对未来的职业发展方向和兴趣做出了进一步的阐述了自己对于将来的职业的理解,使读者可以清楚的了解到作者的所要表达的写作意图。

对于在委内瑞拉当地患者痛苦的描述,很容易使阅读者产生感动,共鸣。文章的结尾阐述了自己对将来从事职业的正确的理解。使得阅读的人感到作者是一个会总结的人,是一个对自己职业有一定理解的人,并不是盲目的申请者。最重要的是对文章的阐述让人感动作者有一个医者的心。

文章前几段主要是对作者的实习经历做了一个比较详细的阐述,这样可以表现出申请者有一定的学术背景,也可以让审查人员知道申请者使一个有能力,出色的,有能够完成课程能力的一个申请者。会对录取起到很大的作用。

文章不足的地方在作者没有能叙述一下自己的在医学方面的学术背景,这样对让读者觉得该申请者的学术背景不是太强,如果能在学术方面进行一些叙述,给这篇PS增色不少。

译文:

委内瑞拉丛林里的小丑实习医生

从我到达了Guanare, 委内瑞拉的那一刻 我体验到了每天担负在人民身上的失望和难受。由于乘坐了乘一辆故障的公共汽车, 我队和我被迫使攀登山在不懈的太阳之下。背负30 磅重的有医疗物资的背包, 我确定了的剩余天数和可以在黄昏时分到达山顶。提前想想第二天就已经是奢侈的了。

该段主要内容是对city of Guanare进行一些介绍,对改城市的糟糕现状的介绍可以了解到他们这次面对的困难是十分巨大的。可以从侧面突出虽然面对的困难很大,但是他们的决心和能力将对这些糟糕现状进行改善。

在我们诊所的第一个早晨,绝望和希望的对比的景象使我对这里的人们产生了敬畏。我吃惊的发现几里外的村民听说这个免费的诊所,都从大清早就开始排队了。由于寄生虫传染而腹胀的肮脏, 瘦弱孩子和由于外伤而肿胀的腿的一些成年人排在一起。分散在他们之前是由14 个陌生人组成的充满着由精神和乐观医疗队。

一天, 我受队医罗伯特的影响,就像我是受在病人脸上痛苦表情影响一样。他是献身和牺牲的烽火台,罗伯特是船锚, 他用同样的热情接待看起来好像没有尽头的病人直到黎明。我当时是一个二年级学生在学院, 并且我在医疗岗位完全是无经验。我意识到, 作为医生这个我未来事业我想发挥出象罗伯特的一样的贡献, 并且我同时会做任何我能做的工作来缓和那些遭受身体痛苦的病人们。

因为在诊所我不能提供很多的医疗援助, 我寻找了另一个方式让自己投入到治疗领域,那就是开始去提高受压迫患者的精神状态。我穿上了宽松的衬衣、裤子, 一顶绿色假发,化了妆,把自己从实习医生变成了小丑。欢乐声在小孩子和大人中环绕冲出了病房。我开始伴随西班牙电台播放着的唱歌和跳舞,其他人都为我微笑和拍手。被病痛折磨的孩子嘻嘻笑了, 和患病的大人患者笑了。最终,孩子们都能很好的加入了我的游戏中。

象诊所, 嬉戏的享受其实是只是一种受村民们欢迎的减缓而已。当我们的队做了很多好事, 最后,我们都不得不要离开, 并且痛苦的那些患者的药物很快会用尽,其他人很快会再次变得不适。他们会回到病痛中如果没有适当的治疗。其它队会来到山和最终会设立其它的诊所, 但问题还是很持续。直到时候当我能参加全球性社区, 教授施避免疾病的预防措譬如寄生生物传染或疟疾, 我继续为这个小村庄做着我能够做的事。我收集衣裳、鞋子和玩具,然后把他们发到市中心。

只要我能记住, 我的好奇, 哺育自然带领我享受医生成为的想法。但是, 在我在委内瑞拉之后, 我变得刚毅。参加到一个被忽略的人口中使我振奋和激动。在委内瑞拉, 担当一个希望的使者和看的见的欢乐给了我巨大满足。我永远记得那些当医生诊断患者的疾病时患者对医生的信任的记忆。我重视我从罗伯特学会的—那就是作为一个医生随时要求牺牲和决心。并且我不会忘记与我跳舞的那些无辜地有希望的孩子们, 他们提醒了我愈合的核心是来自于乐观的丰富。

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